Clichés are easy, familiar and comforting, especially when it comes to love and relationships, yet they usually hide more complex dynamics. But is there any truth to them? Do opposites actually attract? Should you really treat them mean to keep them keen or is it just a bunch of lies we tell ourselves to make life easier? At times, it is much easier to convince ourselves our relationships are ruined by common myths and inescapable dynamics rather than really question and investigate the situations we find (or rather put) ourselves in. 

Clichés can be highly misleading, especially when it comes to the complex realm of romance. Romantic comedies have often spoken in clichés when it comes to depicting happiness, but if even Hollywood is moving on, it might be time for you to do the same.

Is love about making sense of the nonsensical?

Universal truths are convenient, sometimes so much so that they drive dysfunctional relationships forward; at times, they might even get in the way and ruin them altogether. When it comes to love, no one should judge or tell us what to do, and we shouldn’t let common beliefs get in the way of our instincts.

We are all guilty of trying to make sense of contradictions and accept the sometimes unacceptable. Rather than do that, let’s try to see clichés for what they are and leave them where they belong: bad film scripts.

1. Opposites attract.

While it might make sense on paper, it is never a good enough reason to be with someone. Sure, you might lead completely different lives yet have great chemistry in bed. But is that ever good enough to get involved in dynamics that in the long run might not prove the best for your happiness and mental health? If it feels like it might break at any moment, don’t try to fix it.

2. You never forget your first.

Which first exactly? When it comes to sex, the concept is being redefined as we deconstruct virginity. Your first time might be a date, a kiss or even a vibrator: every experience is unique and different. Not every first is worth remembering, and the expectations they carry with them might just end up getting in the way. So let’s try to treat first times as any other time.

3. Love is blind.

True love sees us and doesn’t judge, it is humble and honest. Believing love is blind might mean we close our eyes on toxic behaviour and things that do not make us feel good. This particular proverb has been in use since the 15th century, though its roots are much older, and was later popularised by Shakespeare. We’d rather share Voltaire’s wise words: “It is not love that should be depicted as blind, but self-love.”.

4. Treat them mean, keep them keen.

While there is something to be said for mystery and keeping interest alive, desire feeds on stimulating our senses, be it touch, smell…, as well as keeping the spark alive via a playful back and forth. It’s as much about giving as it is about receiving. If someone isn’t playing the game, things won’t move forward. And if they’re actually mean and uninterested, it might be good to ask yourself why.

5. There is plenty more fish in the sea.

Jumping straight back in the dating pool might sound like a good idea after a break-up but let’s face it: however many options there are, we’re bound to want that one fish. Until we eventually get over them and remember that all fish eventually stinks a little.

6. Love conquers all.

In an ideal world, relationships would be about love and nothing else. In the real world, relationships are often about a number of other things that define our daily lives: careers, money, and everything else that might get in the way. Love should provide comfort rather than become another burden; if it doesn’t do that, it might be time for a rethink.

Clichés are highly imperfect and questionable. Questioning them however might be a great way to gain some clarity. What is your go-to cliché? Drop us a DM @y__spot.